


i’ll be with you all along

by CassandrasDreamworld



Series: i am forgotten (i am remade) [2]
Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: (tm), Angst, Geralt Typical Angst, I tag as i go along or if someone tells me i missed a tag, Jaskier is... not not there, Lambert‚ Eskel‚ Coën are mentioned but don't have big roles as of now, Memory Alteration, Memory Loss, No beta we die like stregobor should have, you know what i mean if you read the first fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:46:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25230046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CassandrasDreamworld/pseuds/CassandrasDreamworld
Summary: Something is missing.Something has been… cut open, cut out, leaving a gaping wound.The wound has been sewn shut, given the illusion of being healed, but. The wound doesn't want to be forgotten.
Relationships: Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon & Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia
Series: i am forgotten (i am remade) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1613920
Comments: 63
Kudos: 73





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hey ho y'all how has it been! I come bearing gifts! or well, this fic.
> 
> thank you for all the comments on the last installment, they really really made my days when i got them and encouraged me to continue!
> 
> on some other notes:
> 
> you will note that style is a bit different than the other fic. this is because this style At All is not my actual writing style. the last installment was written in a bout of manic energy, high on sleep deprivation and coffee xD 
> 
> i tried to recreate the style slightly while bringing in my own so idk how y'all will actually like it lmao
> 
> anyway i hope you like it!

The road to Kaer Morhen is- odd.

Geralt can’t put a finger on it, can’t pin it down but something is  _ missing _ .

It’s like, a word on the top of your tongue, the thought you lost when switching rooms, there but not. It’s frustrating, making him agitated and high strung.

Getting closer to Kaer Morhen, to Ciri, to his family lifts the feeling slightly but doesn’t manage to disperse it.

It’s  _ frustrating _ .

Stopping short before the gate to mount off, he turns to ask-

To  _ ask _ -

Who would  ~~_ should _ ~~ be there to ask if they are alright?

Shaking his head with a grunt, he tries to clear his head and fails. He probably needs some sleep, maybe he is getting old, maybe his brain thought that he had Ciri with him on this one hunt. He has taken her on hunts before but always left her at the keep when it was too dangerous.

That has to be it, he misses her and her company, her mischief, bright eyes and lively energy. 

He misses Yennefer too, as they ended up as good friends after deciding that being lovers wasn’t for them. 

He is glad that they realized this with a bit of nudging from his family and friends and-

The memory suddenly feels hazy but he knows, he  _ knows _ there was someone.

Someone important.

Gritting his teeth he starts walking at a brisk pace, Roach following at a trot. He hopes to leave his jumbled thoughts behind, it does not work.

Although he can’t wait to see ~~some~~ _all_ of his family again.

  
  


~

  
  


Finally entering the courtyard of Kaer Morhen was like a breath of fresh air after being surrounded by smoke and heavy fog.

Finally holding Ciri again, even if their time apart has only been a month at most, calms him in a way nothing else hax. Not even Roach’s quiet companionship.

Something, something is still wrong though, it is even heavier now. Lodged deep, radiating-

Loss. Lost. Missing. Hurt.

And.

And-

Ciri seems to be…  _ affected _ , as well.

Aborted movement to hug  ~~_ someonethatshouldbthere _ ~~ nothing. Smiling and turning to empty air, before looking confused, brows crinkled. Having a question or a thought on her mind and wanting to go to- to... 

She goes and asks the others, but often they can’t answer her literary or academic questions, save for Vesemir. She knows, though, that there were questions that she got answers to. She also knows none of them could have answered them.

Even the other Witchers at the keep seem to notice, they don’t seem to be  _ as _ off kilter as him and Ciri but they can sense that something is…  _ wrong _ . 

He sees it in the way they keep shooting inquiring looks at him and Ciri, how their frowns deepen over time. How even they sometimes smile at empty air.

Lambert rounds the corner to the keep’s biggest window, overlooking the mountains. He sits on the ledge and looks out before he twists to the side, arm reaching out- he aborts the movement, his face drawn up and pinched. He stands up and goes to train.

Eskel hums a little tune while cleaning his swords by the heart of the main hall, cherry and upbeat, a tavern favorite even if he can’t remember the lyrics just now, he turns with a smile to _ - _ he shakes his head and frowns before continuing. He starts another tune, it sounds sad.

Vesemir works in the library, sorting through the many books brought to the keep over times, he is unsure as to where to place this particular book though, he lays it to the side so he can later ask- ask… He lays it to the side.

Coën is the only one that is the most unaffected, having not been at the keep for long, but even he sometimes seems as if he wants to start talking about… something before closing his mouth again.

For once he is grateful that all of them, are as unwilling to actually  _ talk _ about any emotional seeming problem, hoping instead that the these problems resolve themself.

He didn’t know what was  _ wrong _ .

He didn’t know how to fix it.

After a few days, Yennefer portals in again, back from working with Triss, to look after Ciri and look over her lessons for the next weeks.

Ciri of course, is ecstatic to see her again, having warmed up to Yennefer astonishingly fast after meeting her and just as fast making place in her heart for the woman.

Just as astonishing was though, that Yennefer has immediately given her heart to the little cub as well, having taken to Ciri rapidly. 

Geralt has hoped that having her here would,  _ disperse  _ whatever it is that has befallen them.

It doesn’t.

Instead having her here somehow… amplifies it. As if her mere presence alone makes it even clearer that-

That  _ something _ .

Something is  _ missing _ .

Something has been… cut open, cut out, leaving a gaping wound.

It is a pulsing, oozing tear, sewn together in hopes of no one noticing that there used to be  ~~ something ~~ \- some _ one _ _. _

But.

_ But _ whoever was responsible, whoever has done this. Underestimated that it is not something one can just sew shut and…  _ forget _ .

  
  


~

  
  


Everything comes to a head at dinner one week later.

Cutlery clicks together painfully loud as Ciri near throws them on her plate and shoves it away from her, food only half eaten.

She slams her fist on the table, standing up. Her posture tight and expression circling through anger and sadness and… hopelessness.

The table is silent.

“I can’t do this anymore.”

She stomps her foot hard, heedless on how much of a childish gesture it is. Not caring about how it looks like a tantrum, she  _ is _ angry.

“There is-  _ There is something wrong _ . There is something wrong and we-”

A deep breath, blinking away tears and continuing, voice cracking.

“We just  _ ignore it _ . It’s wrong! It’s wrong and I know you all don’t like- don’t like to talk or acknowledge you problems but I can’t do that anymore!”

Ciri’s tears are flowing freely now. She is shaking and trembling but standing her ground, meeting the eyes of everyone sitting around the table.

“There is some _ one _ missing and it  _ hurts _ .”

The whole table has fallen into silence, only broken by Ciri’s occasional sobs.

Yennefer moves first, standing up quickly and rounding the table. She reaches her hand out and, not seeing a rebuffing action from Ciri, strokes over her hair, gathers her up in a strong embrace. 

“I am sorry, little lion.”

She shoots a vaguely murderous look to Geralt who is standing up too, looking guilty. He slowly goes over to them both and gently thumbs a few tears away from Ciri’s cheek.

“I am too. Sorry. I am not good with- this. Will you forgive me cub?”

Ciri noods with a jerky movement before stepping out of Yennefer’s embrace to wrap her arms around Geralt as well.

He looks down on her, softly returning her embrace, stroking a hand down her back. Impulsively he leans down and pressed a kiss on the crown of her head, he hasn’t done this before but it feels  _ right _ .

Pulling back slightly he looks into Ciri’s eye, seeing her pleasant surprise next to the sadness and is glad having done something good. He looks at Yennefer and sees the steel in her eyes and nods at her.

“We will find out what is wrong Cub. Together.”

Yennefer steps close, pressing a kiss on her head as well. “We will.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vesemir nods and seems to think, before he sits back down on the bench.
> 
> “Alright, this means, that whatever it is, the ones who feel that something is wrong are the ones familiar with this thing.”
> 
> “Not a thing!” Ciri exclaims, she disentangles herself from Yennefer and Geralt. “A person. Someone is missing, I’m sure of it!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally finished this chap. it really really fought me probably bc of all the darn dialogue woops.
> 
> i hope you like it tbh i personally don't feel it's that good but hey, i posted it and now it's not my problem anymore!
> 
> also the speeds at which the character seems to find and the proceed to loose their braincell again is really incredible lol

Vesemir pushes his plate away and stands up and nods to the three of them. 

“We need to figure out exactly what is wrong, as detailed as is possible for us, before trying to find out what has caused it or how to undo it.” He looks at the remaining people at the table. “First, if this something is only affecting the three of them over there or all of us.”

He leans against the table, arms crossed. “I have felt something as well, that something is missing, but as far as I have gathered I didn’t affect me as much as these three.”

Vesemir looks around the gathered people and sees Eskel and Lambert nodding. “You two too then, yes?”

They look at each other, Eskel is the first to talk. “Yes… sometimes, I turn around to ask, I don’t know. When I’m turned around I already forgot what I wanted to ask and why.”

“The window, the big ass one at the top, I never went there before but now something always fucking draws me to it and I only realize when I already sat down on the shitty ledge.” Lambert continues, and crosses his arms. “It’s fucking annoying.”

Sighing, Vesemir turns to Coën. “What about you, then?”

Coën shakes his head. “Nothing for me, I am afraid. However this is my first Winter here, maybe this is why, whatever this is, does not affect me.”

Vesemir nods and seems to think, before he sits back down on the bench.

“Alright, this means, that whatever it is, the ones who feel that something is wrong are the ones familiar with this thing.”

“Not a thing!” Ciri exclaims, she disentangles herself from Yennefer and Geralt. “A person. Some _ one _ is missing, I’m sure of it!”

Vesemir looks at her and inclines his head. 

“I believe you. Do you know more?”

Ciri seems startled but catches herself and inclines her head as well. 

She pauses to think before speaking. “I don’t know, everything seems… fuzzy, blurry, when I want to think about it.”

She pauses, looking around as if to search for something. Someone. Shaking her head she continues, “I know it’s a person, or was! And... I think they might have been… academically inclined? Or just knew a lot?”

The adults in the room seem to pause and look at each other for a moment. Geralt steps closer to her and lays a broad hand on her shoulder, making her look up at him. “Why do you think that cub?”

“Well. There are things I know about … court etiquette, or noble history. I know that my tutors  _ before _ haven’t taught me some of these things and…”

She winces, “I know every one of you couldn’t have taught me the things I know because you don’t even know them.”

At a questioning look from Vesemir she flushes a bit red, “Sorry, but I am pretty sure you all don’t know the family lines of the Redanian nobility and also don’t want to know them.”

Ciri’s flush deepens a bit more when no one says something.

A beat.

Then- 

Lambert throws his head back, breaking out into howling laughter.

Looking at him, a smile sneaks itself on Ciri’s face, making her look down to hide her amusement. 

“Where she’s right, she’s right, gotta admit,” Lambert says with a shit eating grin. “Sorry kiddo but most nobility can lick me where the sun don’t shine, and stuffy old history is borin’ as fuck anyway.”

As always, Lambert’s choice of words make Ciri giggle. Judging by the Witcher’s smug smirk now adorning his face, that has been his intention. 

Vesemir massages the bridge of his nose and lets out a long suffering sigh, while Eskel and Geralt just roll their eyes. Yennefer and Coën give each other a look but remain unimpressed. 

Lambert knocks back the rest of his ale, “Y’all are no fucking fun.” He leans back, arms crossed.

“So what now? We know shit is wrong, someone is missing according to the cub, which means something knocked everyone of us with one hell of a spell or some other fucking magic.” 

“And we can’t reliable find out who is missing considering we can’t remember.” Eskel adds.

The rooms falls into contemplative silence that broke when Geralt sighed.

He nudges Ciri back to her place. “You can’t think on an empty stomach cub.”

“Finish eating.”

Reluctantly she sits down at the table again and pulls her plate close, starting to eat the now cold food.

No sense in wasting good food. 

Geralt and Yennefer look at each other before, settling in besides Ciri who is wolfing down her food to finish fast.

They both can’t bring themselves to scold her this time.

When she’s done, she put the cutlery back on her plate but quietly this time and sits back. 

Lost in thought.

The others aren’t any better and are sitting in silence, their eyes either wandering of focused on a fixed point while they think.

Coën absently strokes his beard, something seemingly dawning on him, going after the look of his face.

He leans back.

“Maybe we should first start to figure out who is affected, and  _ why _ ?”

Most of the tables eyes land on him, eyebrows raised indicating for him to continue.

He sighs, “Well, why am I not affected? There could be a plethora of reasons but we can actually discard some of them already if we look at what  _ you _ all have in common that I do not share.”

Ciri, looks up and around herself, she hesitates, “So that means, that a common factor couldn’t be ‘Being a Witcher’, because many of the uhm-”

She clears her throat, and continues after a nod from Coën.

“Because yes, many of the affected are Witcher’s but  _ you _ aren’t, so it can’t be the common factor?”

“Exactly.” Coën nods, “So that one wouldn’t be a viable option as a factor that we share, or magically inclined for that matter as this has an overlap with being a Witcher.”

This makes Ciri frown.

Her face is scrunched up in concentration and it is clear to see that she is thinking hard about what a common factor could be.

“What about closeness?”  _ Geralt _ is the one to blurt out.

Startled, Ciri looks up and makes and inquiring noise. Yennefer inclines her head, showing she is listening. 

Geralt drags a hand over his face, “One thing Coën doesn’t have in common with us is that he’s… new. At least here at Kaer Morhen, to us.”

“So mean to say that this person, that is missing, is or was close to us?” Eskel asks.

Geralt nods. 

Yennefer taps her fingers against the table. “It would make sense, especially since we have established that we, that is Geralt, Ciri, and me, are the ones who have been affected the most.”

“So they would have to have been especially close to us three and probably knew Vesemir, Eskel, and Lambert trough us!” Ciri exclaims, grinning.

“So we’re close to the ‘why us’, maybe we should also look at who else might be affected.” Vesemir states, looking thoughtful.

Geralt stands up. “Which means we should start to ask or at least look around in  _ our _ circle of acquaintance.” 

Most at the table nod. Vesemir stands up and excuses himself to the library. 

Lambert stands up aggressively. “Finally! Can we fucking leave now and stop talking about emotions and other shit?”

Ciri giggles when Yennefer sends him a murderous look.

“Yes, we’re done for now, which means that I will contract Triss first, and since  _ you _ are so eager to go off, you can help me move the megascope equipment.”

Yennefer’s tone booking no argument as she stares Lambert down.

Lambert looks back at her defiantly, before he looks at Ciri who is giving him her puppy dog eyes routine. 

He wavers, then sighs and follows Yennefer out while grumbling something about  _ bitchy witches _ . 

Geralt rolls his eyes, while Ciri is still snickering.

“Come cub, we can think about people we know while we train.” 

With that he hoist Ciri up on his shoulder, pulling a delighted laugh from her, while she wraps her arms around his neck.

They will figure it out.

Together.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What kind of human would follow a Witcher?
> 
> Or be even close to one.
> 
> So close in fact, that the absence of them, tears a metaphorical wound into them

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i can't believe i actually did it. hell yeah
> 
> only took me? what? 2 weeks for 1k? xDDDDD  
> rip
> 
> i hope you like it and i hope i see you in the next installment!

Contacting Triss didn’t yield any results at first.

She hasn’t noticed that anything was different or missing.

This changes when she portals to Kaer Morhen with Yennefer.

At first nothing noticeable happens. 

She helps with the repairs by manipulating wood, trains Ciri, spends a lot of time together with Yennefer or Vesemir going over books in the library. 

The first signs that something is… _off_ , start to happen when she and Geralt interact in any capacity. 

Talking together, laughing, turning to _someone that isn’t there_ , pausing.

Pausing and looking at each other and knowing that they just had the same urge to share this with someone.

It does not happen if Geralt isn’t there, not with Ciri, not with Yennefer. Only with Geralt.

This brings them both closer and farther away from answers.

It means that the person _must_ have been close or _closest_ to Geralt.

Geralt… does not know how to feel about this.

At all.

He knows he isn’t the easiest person to be around and he is a _Witcher_ , something that a lot of people hate. 

Hate and ostracize them for being inhuman.

So he thinks that the person must be like him too, or similar. 

Another Witcher? A Mage? Maybe even an Elf or someone with elven blood but- no.

Every one of these thoughts don’t sound… right.

Which means that it is likely that the person is human and- it doesn’t make any sense but it feels _right_.

What kind of human would follow a _Witcher_?

Or be even _close_ to one.

So close in fact, that the absence of them, tears a metaphorical wound into them.

Into _him_.

It is… frightening and daunting if he is truthful with himself, which he is not.

Telling the others, he sees that they seem to be surprised as well, especially the other Witcher’s.

Yennefer looks contemplative but nods, and both she and Ciri say that it indeed _feels_ right.

A human. 

There are a lot of those.

But… Ciri says that she thinks they are academically inclined.

She figured it out by thinking about it like a puzzle.

Looking at the things she has and knows about herself to figure out a puzzle piece of what might be missing.

And thinking about what he has and knows about himself can’t hurt. 

He knows how he is and how other people perceive him. He can be difficult and clueless regarding emotions.

The person must have been incredibly stubborn and persistent.

_Is_ incredibly stubborn and persistent.

He hopes, at least, that they _are_ and not that they _were_.

It’s unsettling to think about them being dead, although he doesn’t know if it wouldn’t be for the better.

If he suddenly woke up one day and everyone he holds dear, everyone he knows _doesn’t_ know him anymore?

He does not know how he would deal with that. 

_Could_ he deal with that?

Sighing he shakes his head, no need to dwell on this now, not when they aren’t even close to finding them.

When they aren’t even close to finding out who they _are_.

He doesn’t know why this is hurting him so much.

On the other hand, for a person to have had that much of an impact on their lives, it would make sense that they would feel their absence so thoroughly. 

Thoroughly and with all their heart.

How can you miss someone you don’t know?

  
  


~

  
  


Yennefer comes to him one evening after his training, oddly thoughtful.

She sits down next to him, one arm on the table and one leg folded under her, while he cleans and polishes his swords. 

They sit in silence for some time, the only sound coming from the crackling fireplace. 

Geralt focuses on his work and Yennefer watches him, an uncharacteristic slouch to her posture. 

After a while she sighs and straightens, tapping a nail sharply against the table. 

The sound echoes off of the stone walls and makes Geralt pause and look over to her, one eyebrow raised.

“How did we meet, Geralt?”

Geralt has an unsettling feeling which direction this will go, one that for once doesn’t have anything to do with his wish.

She raises an eyebrow back at him, as if she knows exactly what he’s thinking.

She probably does.

He tries thinking on what have might set her off about their meeting and draws a blank. 

“We met through the djinn debacle.” 

She gives a tiny huff of laughter, her nails start to rhythmically tap the table.

“Everybody and their mother knows that, most likely.”

She leans forward as if she is sharing a secret. “You went to me for help. For help with _what_?”

He opens his mouth and- closes it, blinks.

“I….” He wracks his brain for something but nothing comes to mind.

Yennefer is still leaning forwards, watching with shrewd eyes as Geralt struggles to recall why he went to her that day.

“You don’t remember either.” She says. 

A statement. Not a question.

He shakes his head, “No. There is something, but… the harder I try to remember, the more it seems to slip away.”

She leans back and seems to wait, distantly Geralt starts to hear the sounds of tiny footsteps.

He gives her a questioning look but Yennefer just shakes her head.

Deciding that he won’t get done with his swords today, he sheats them and cleans up.

They wait in relative silence after that, while the footstep grow closer.

A few minutes later Ciri knocks and hesitantly opens the door to the room.

She looks between them both and takes in the somewhat tense atmosphere. 

Ciri sits down next to Yennefer who give her a shoulder a comforting squeeze.

She looks to Geralt. “She told you?”

“You know about the djinn?” He seems surprised.

Before Ciri can give a response to that, Yennefer lays a hand on her shoulder to stop her.

She crosses her arms, her tone measured “I told her. Without her I would not have started to examine some of our previous meetings.”

“Alright.” He says and, seeing Yennefer relaxing slightly, he nods at Ciri.

“What did you find out cub?”

She shifts a bit in her seat, clearly unsure, but Yennefer gives her an encouraging look.

Ciri stills and takes a breath. “Why were you at my parent’s betrothal?”

He blinks, that’s… a good question, actually.

Slowly he starts, “I was there as a bodyguard.”

Yennefer snorts in a very unladylike manner and leans on the table again.

“The white wolf, hiring himself out as a bodyguard? Scandalous.”

She gives a small crooked smile that’s gone again before it even really appeared.

“Jokes aside, that’s not usually something you do. What brought this on? Who were you a bodyguard for?”

Geralt looks at his hands, swallows, and shakes his head. He doesn’t know.

Yennefer sighs, “Another event our missing person was involved in it seems.”

“Maybe we should start thinking about events that happened but are missing pieces now.” Ciri adds. 

Exhaling loudly Geralt stands up and rounds the table, sitting down next to Ciri and Yennefer.

“That’s a good idea cub, maybe it will give us a closer idea who exactly he is or- was.”

Both Yennefer and Ciri freeze. Which makes Geralt startle. 

“What? Did I say something wrong?”

Both of them look at each other and slowly Ciri says, “He. You said ‘he’.”

Now it’s Geralt’s turn to freeze, he thinks back on what he said and-

“You’re right. I did.” He seems a bit stunned and looks over at Yennefer.

She is quiet and looking down at her nails, lost in thought.

As if sensing his eyes on her, she looks up. “It feels right I think.”

Ciri nods, “It does! It fits but I don’t know why.”

Yennefer inclines her head.

All three of them sit in silence for a while before Yennefer stands up.

“We should all head to bed for now. It can’t hurt to sleep on it before we continue with our thought experiments. Alright?”

As if on cue, Ciri yawns and stretches. “Yes. But we _will_ continue!”

Geralt chuckles quietly, “We will.”

“Come on cub, you need your sleep, and we won’t be able to puzzle this out when we’re tired.”

She yawns again and nods.

They will figure this out, Ciri knows it.

They are in this together.


End file.
